Friend, foe or fiend

     In this season of John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, we are dealing with our sinful actions so I thought to consider our reception of truth that hurts. The Lord can reveal our sin to us through our spirits, the Word, friends and enemies. If both friends and foes can wound us, how can we spiritually know the difference between whether the wounding is coming from a friend or foe? Both enemies and friends can occasionally be very intent upon showing us our faults, sometimes gently and sometimes not so gently. They can both be very intent upon our correction! Is it important to know whether they are friend or foe? Sometimes I’ve heard  teaching saying that “conviction is from God and condemnation is from the Devil” so if you feel “condemned,” or maybe just bad, you are to not listen to this voice. But I think this is wrong.

     When Paul talks to the Corinthians about a Christian’s presence to others he states:

But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things?  For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God’s word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ  (2 Cor 2: 14-17).

We, as Christians, can be sincere, but those who are perishing may see our presence as death. Yet, if those same people were looking for God, they would experience those people’s presence as life, right? Same person, same gospel, different experience. Likewise, when God shows us our sins we need to be attentive and repentant, no matter what the source. As Paul says to the Romans, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom 8:1). The Law used to bring death before Christ, but now in Christ, the Law brings life. The Law has been transformed by Christ to bring us into His life of love.

     As I was recently looking at the lives of the desert monks of the early church, as noted by Archbishop Rowan Williams,

For the desert monastics “sin is healed by solidarity, by identification.” They individually kept their own sin and neediness tearfully before their eyes to help them empathize with others and to be better able to extend Christ’s absolute mercy and gentleness. They forgave others that they might be forgiven (Where God Happens, pps. 30-31).

God can use our sin and neediness if we keep it tearfully before us, not to condemn us, but to have empathy with others. As the Psalmist writes, “my sin is ever before me” (Ps. 51:3).

     I often write carelessly and sometimes I live carelessly, writing and speaking and acting from what is good for me. I have thought that what is “pure” for me means that I am not harmed by it. But actually I’m realizing that what is pure for me is, instead, defined by love for the other.

     Confession is good for everyone. Thanks be to God who sends people to speak the truth to us in love even if it hurts. As Augustine notes,

“He truly loves a friend who loves God in the friend, either because God is actually present in the friend or in order that God may be so present. This is true love” (Sermon 336, 2.2).

And faithful are the wounds of a friend.