Burden Bearers

“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34)

     The foundation for unity with others lies in forgiveness because this is the way that Christ relates to us: He sees us as forgiven. Therefore, forgiveness precedes right relationship because our relationships are based in the Lamb that has been slain from the foundation of the world (Rev 13:8). We can only rightly relate to others from this foundation.

      Dietrich Bonhoeffer has a powerful passage in The Cost of Discipleship relating to this:

The passion of Christ strengthens (the Christian) to overcome the sins of others by forgiving them. He becomes the bearer of other men’s burdens – “Bear ye other another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal 3:2). As Christ bears our burdens so we ought to bear the burdens of our fellow-men….My brother’s burden which I must bear is not only his outward lot, his natural characteristics and gifts, but quite literally his sin. And the only way to bear that sin is by forgiving it in the power of the cross….Thus the call to follow Christ is a call to share in the work of forgiving men their sins. (p. 90)

     This essential way of relating to all people is seen in Christ’s hard words to his disciples after giving them the Lord’s prayer in Matthew:

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses (Matt 6:14, 15; see also Mark 11:25).

The HarperCollins Study Bible notes that this word is “trespasses, rather than debts (which is the word used in the prayer in verse 12 'forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors'), and refers more directly to ethical transgressions.” We want so much to call others’ trespasses against us "flagrant sins," though, so that we don’t have to forgive them until they come begging to us. Our heart is a battleground, however, and we will be the losers if we don’t forgive. These words are exemplified in Jesus’ story of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35 which Jesus ends with these words:

And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.

     We ourselves cannot forgive the sins of someone who has not repented (usually because they don’t know how they’ve offended) and because forgiveness is reciprocal but we can extend God’s grace to them. A peaceful, healthy family has learned this foundation of forgiveness. Scripture reminds us that it is important to be quick to forgive the many ways people trespass against us so that a root of bitterness does not grow in us (Heb 12:15, Rom 3:14, Eph 4:31, Acts 8:23).  Families that have grievances and undercurrents of bitterness have not learned this lesson. If we are lacking in God’s love towards any single person we must repent for Christ’s kingdom is at hand: the one who came that we might be forgiven will forgive us. Our God is determined to love us and through Him we must be determined to extend his love to all others.

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Pet 4:8